To you


I thought you were the perfect person for me. You had flaws with your family and your own demons but I knew that was just the way that you were.   I thought that you would have accepted me for who I was like I accepted you. I know I was closed off but I would have probably done anything for you.

I thought last week gave us hope that something was still there. Yet you take her calls whenever you get the chance and that is so hurtful to me. Of all places you have to find her on a dating site like who even is this girl and why do you have to find her on a dating site when there is a perfectly fine girl right in front of you.  Its ridiculous I believe in our dreams and us we have the same goals and the ideas.  This is insane.

I even thought for a split second that you are the one. I can see forever with you and I have no idea how I know I just do. I knew we liked each other the minute we saw each other. Yeah we might not have really liked each other at first but you can tell there was something there.  I have never felt like this before where I can’t sleep because you are talking to another girl and actually like her.  Do you love her more than you can ever love me.  I just want to know I almost have to know

I miss you. I miss your goofy annoying smile and your really lame jokes that are just not funny.  but yet they are things that I want to hear after a really rough day at work they somehow make my day a little bit better.  I miss us and how we used to be.  I feel that I can tell you all of my problems and you’ll just understand me. You are the first people I think ever that I can see a future with a real future as long as we’re together I could really care less what else happens.

I Love you because with every thing that has happened I’m still willing and waiting to give us a shot and no matter what happens I never want to let you go this just shows how much I’ve never felt this way about anyone ever



I have been in my masters program for about a year now.  Who ever told me this time last year I would be a grad student at Felician University  I would have told them they were insane. I thought I was going to be LC conquering the east coast.  But I’ve made it this far and I think I deserve a pat on the back if I don’t say so myself.  Of course things aren’t how I expected for everything to pan out but things could be worse.

On my first day at Felician one of my professors told the class the best way to know our selves and of course to be better counselors is to see a therapist. This is supposed to help clear our mind and to also be able to become better counselors. Of course me being the one who hates to talking about her feelings would rather blog about her feelings and to write about it instead. This kind of made me want to start blogging again. Fingers crossed I can actually keep the blog this time .